


Normal is Something I Will Never Want to be.

by isntlouislovely



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Happy Ending, Human Louis, M/M, Sad Louis, Spirt Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isntlouislovely/pseuds/isntlouislovely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a spirt attached to him every since he can remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normal is Something I Will Never Want to be.

 

Louis was different, he knew that now. He accepted it. He no longer told random people at the store or at school, he stopped talking about it with his family, and he kept it completely to himself. He was different, and he was okay with that.

 

He found out at the young age of six, when he felt the terrifying presence of someone in the room with him. He didn't want to scream or call out for his parents to look under his bed and in his closet, he didn't feel scared in the least. After having said a simple 'hi', his alphabet blocks were thrown to the the floor, creating a rather loud noise given that it was the middle of the night, and shifted around until they formed the word, _'oops'_. Louis then proceeded to have a conversation with the moving blocks. He didn't remember much from that particular conversation, which seemed like forever ago, but there was one thing he would never forget: the spirit's name was Harry, and he wasn't going anywhere.

 

It was hard for a long time, always knowing there was someone with you all times during the day. Someone no one could see nor hear. Harry would tell Louis that he tried everyday to connect with Louis' mind for him to be able to hear him but it was to no avail. They had many written conversations on the computer and in notebooks that Louis hid under his bed. It was even harder for Louis to not tell people. It was okay at first, everyone assumed he had an imaginary friend but that eventually was no longer an excuse. People at school thought he was insane and he was asked to talk to the school therapist a few times; he never showed up. His mother became visibly worried but wanted to get him tested to be on the safe side; his father wouldn't let her. "He's a damn kid! If he has some kind of problem, for christ's sake, I won't fucking want him anymore!" Louis never spoke to anyone about it after that.

 

Harry never talked much about himself, although he didn't really know too much to begin with. He doesn't know how old he is, he doesn't know if he had a family or anyone who love or miss him, and most importantly he doesn't know what he is or how he ended up attached to Louis. It made Harry sad, Louis knew that much. Louis could feel everything Harry could, anger, sadness, joy, and the same applied to Harry. He described it as a single cord, like a rope, that was a magnificent light blue and was attached to where Louis' heart sat in his chest to where Harry's sat. If Harry traveled into a different room or wandered away from Louis, it was painful on both ends. Neither one of them wanted to know what would happen if they tried to get away from one another. Not that neither of them mined the other, they both enjoyed the company immensely.

 

There were perks to having Harry. Harry could spy on conversations people were having close by and all Louis had to do was close his eyes and focus and within seconds he could see and hear everything Harry could. When he found out he could do this, he wanted to use it for everything, cheating in school being one. Harry on the other hand would have none of it. Louis was mad at first that he wouldn't let him 'succeed' in school and Harry simply wrote on the top of his test, 'I do this because I care'. Louis smiled to himself and never tried again.

 

Now, in the midst of August, at just age 18, Louis was conflicted. He now sat on his computer with a blank word document open. He had a blind date in less than an hour and all day he could feel Harry's mix of worry and slight jealousy which was weird to Louis since there was no reason for either, but he wasn't quite sure. He cast those, probably wrongly determined, feelings aside and got right down to business. "Harry." Louis stated. It was more just to draw his attention and not a question as to ask if he was there. He was always there. The word _'Louis.'_ displayed on the screen seconds after. Louis knew this was meant to be said in a mock tone and rolled his eyes at that.

 

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

 

_'Nothing.'_

 

"Harry, I'm not stupid 'ya know."

 

After a few minutes of waiting for a response and multiple letters and beginnings of words being typed and then erased, two simple words appeared, _'Don't go.'_

 

Thats when it hit him. Harry would have to come with him. He had no choice to leave him home or have him stay anyplace else. Harry would always be there. He would be there with every relationship and every intimate moment Louis would ever encounter in his life, and at that moment Louis wasn't sure what to do. Harry had been with him ever since he was born, there were times louis wished Harry wasn't there but never would he ever really want that. But at the same time what was he to do? Live his life alone with this- spirit attached to him? Well, he thought, he wouldn't technically be alone, now would he?

 

And as if Harry read Louis mind, he's beginning to think that harry can and just won't tell him, Harry swiftly typed out, _'I will find a way to un-attach us. I will find a way for you to be normal.'_

 

Never before in Louis' life was he ever normal, and never did he ever want to be.

 

*******

 

It’s now November slowly merging into December and Louis is laid sprawled out on his bed staring up at his ceiling. He idly twiddled his thumbs on top of his chest and sighed deeply.

He could feel Harry’s pang of anxiety and worry hit him like a tidal wave. He decided to now place his phone atop his chest, turning on the flashlight option, and pointing it upwards.  This was one of Louis’s favorite things to do with Harry.

When he was little Harry would manipulate shadows into animals and create whole stories that Louis would fall asleep to. Now a days, Harry created words and sentences out of shadows which, at times, was really fucking scary. Louis remembers one time in particular, just a few years back, when he was in year nine and he was walking home from school. All of a sudden, bunches of words laid across the sidewalk, being formed from all of the available, surrounding shadows. When he took a moment to realize this was indeed of Harry’s doing, he focused on the message; _‘you look especially pretty today Lou.’_ Louis laughed quietly to himself and kept on walking home. He never brought it up.

 

“Fancy a chat?” Louis smiled, staring at the circle of light.

 

_‘Always’_

 

“Do you remember anything before this? Like what’s the earliest thing you remember?”

 

_‘My oldest memory is you laying in the hospital crib a few hours after you were born.’_

 

Louis inhaled sharply through his nose. “That must suck. Not knowing if you had a life before this. Not knowing even what you are or your purpose. I couldn’t imagine.”

 

_‘Every single moment I remember has been spent alongside you. I wouldn’t change that for the world.’_

 

Louis closed his eyes, smiling and wanting sleep. When he had decided that was just what he was going to do, his phone shifted on top of him. He opened his eyes once more to see, ‘ _You need to go to the store before the mornin’, yeah?’_

 

Louis sighed and rolled off his bed and shuffled towards his front door. He grabbed his keys and his coat and turned around. “Thank you, I don’t know what I would do without you.” And with that he flew out the door and down the steps of the apartment complex and was on his way.

 

*******

 

Louis drove down the road he always did when returning home from the store. One that was just a bit secluded and wouldn’t be backed up with traffic. It was quiet and there were times like these when both Harry and Louis wish they could have verbal conversations, but for now Louis did all the talking, not that either of them really minded.

 

“You’re gonna hate me. Pretty sure I want to re-watch that movie we did last night, it was just fantastic don’t you think? Well of course you do! Hearts connected and shit, gotta mean we love the same stuff, right? ‘S only makes sense. I should be a scientist and like talk about all these theories I have. I would be widely accepted among those people. They would adore me.” Louis finished. He laughed slightly knowing that he absolutely veered off topic and ended up nowhere he had planned to end his little rant, but thats beside the point. He than noticed that he’s such a genius that he missed his turn. Amusement began to overflow him and make his head spin. “Oh shut up you ignorant twat. Even smart people make mistakes.” He wanted to finish that off with an example of some really famous scientist that made a lot of mistakes but odds are he would have been so wrong and Harry would give him shit about it later.

 

Louis looked down the other lane of the road to see if any other cars where coming before he attempted to u-turn his car and go the other way. It was only a two lane street and both were quite narrow, put Louis thought of himself as a pro driver so he tackled the task head first.

 

“I bet you’re just jealous of my driving skills, Haz. I should become the first scientist who is a nascar racer person.” Louis turned the steering wheel and accelerated the gas, swinging into the opposite lane. The last thing Louis remembers was the feeling of utter terror drowning him.

 

*******

Louis woke up in a hospital bed a few days later. His head was throbbing along with intense pain in his chest. He felt extremely disoriented, and not himself. Empty, he felt empty. “Harry?” Louis questioned in a hushed tone. “Harry? Are you alright?” No feelings, no movement, pure emptiness. The nurse must have heard him because before he could process what was happening, she walked in asking him how he felt. “I- uh. What happened?” She sighed and came closer to his bed and rested her hands at the foot of it. She then proceeded to explain all the events of that night.

 

Louis wanted to pull his hair out. Rip the cords out of his arms and jump out the window. His head hit the steering wheel and it then got jammed into his chest, breaking multiple rips upon impact. A car hit him. That was pretty much obvious. It happens. People get into accidents all the time and he should be thankful he was alive. But, Louis’s body resisted the fluids and treatments the ambulance gave to him and his heart stopped for just a few seconds. When Louis’s heart stopped beating, so did Harry’s. Harry was gone and Louis felt empty and lost. Louis grabbed the covers and pulled them over his face and cried until he exhausted himself and fell asleep. He requested for no visitors until further notice.

  
  


*******

It had now been a few months since the accident and he was again emitted into the hospital. His brain continued to swell significantly and his fractured ribs where too close to puncturing an artery or even a lung that surgery might be in question. Maybe he will even die under the surgeon's care and slip comfortably away to somewhere better, somewhere where he would no longer feel empty. He was miserable. He no longer felt the will to get up in the morning and dreaded every new day. Just another reminder of how alone he was. He ignored all the worried calls from his parents and friends and some from random numbers that he assumed was probably the bank or the hospital checking in on him. He eventually turned his phone off all together and the rest of his days all blurred together into one big haze.

 

“Mr. Tomlinson?” The nurse knocked on the side of the door before stepping inside to greet Louis who just gave a pathic excuse for a smile and turned to look out the window.

 

“Mr. Tomlinson? You have a visitor.” She sighed. She knew what the answer would be. What Louis’s answer was always when he had a visitor.

 

“I dont want to see anyone.”

 

“But sir, he’s very persistent. We tell him everyday you do not accept visitors. He’s been staying in the waiting room for the past three days waiting until you do.” The nurse seemed tired. Tired of his bullshit, Louis figured. But also, she looked physically drained, like she had not slept in days.

 

“Well shit.” Louis laughed. Who the fuck stays in a crappy hospital waiting room for someone who doesn't want to see anyone? A fucking idiot, thats who. “Yeah, send him in.” Louis turned his attention back to the window and watched the way the leaves on the trees swayed to the rhythm of the wind. He could faintly hear the sound of footsteps coming closer and then his door shut.

 

“Charles Darwin, William Thomson, Linus Pauling, Fred Hoyle, and Albert Einstein were all brilliant scientists. Each made groundbreaking contributions to their field—but each also made terrible mistakes. Im sure you could join that list.” Louis didn’t turn to look at the voice coming from the door. It was low and raspy and frankly he didn’t want to know whose it was. He then heard the movement of the man towards where Louis had been staring and then into his sight and fuck was he beautiful. He was rather tall with a mess of chocolate curls that flew everywhere perfectly which made his sparkling green eyes bright. He was younger than Louis or possibly the same age and he smiled ever so slightly as Louis starred on.

 

The man sighed, “Room 217 of Doncaster General. Do you know what that is?”

 

Louis shook his head, “I’m afraid I do not.” He could hear his voice shaking and he could feel his hands trembling. He knew what was standing in front of him was a dream or a figment of his imagination but never the less, Louis was going to take it and run with it.

 

“Its the room you were born in. A month or two ago I woke up in the bathroom of that room, slouched against the sink. I had to walk out and explain to the patient that I didn’t know how I got there. Poor guy, almost gave him another heart attack.” Louis nodded, not daring to look the man in the eye. He wasn't quite sure that this had to do with anything. “Thats the earliest memory I have. Waking up in that bathroom in the same position I did just a few months ago to the sound of you crying in your crib.” He looked down for a moment, sighing and shaking his head. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I understand your hatred for public transportation now.” Louis laughed, fucking giggled at this non existent thing he had created.

 

“You’re not real” Louis breathed. He reached over to press the ‘call nurse button’ when all of a sudden a hand placed itself on his and was brought towards the man.

 

“Lou, I know this is confusing and even I don't understand. But its me, Harry. The thing that was attached to you for your whole life. The one you had conversations till 3 in the morning about how you really fancy guys over girls and that sucking dick was probably really fun.” Harry raised Louis’s hand and placed a series of gentle kisses along his knuckles. “Get some sleep Lou, i’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

Louis turned away from ‘Harry’ and closed his eyes knowing that once he woke up after some decent sleep he would be okay. Harry was gone and he wasn't coming back and Louis needed to face the truth.

 

Turns out, Louis has never been more wrong in his life.

  
  


*******

 

Louis got released from the hospital within the week, saying that he needed to come back once a week for a check to make sure the medicine and brace they gave him were working properly.

 

Harry never left Louis’ side. They talked about everything they couldn’t before since conversing had been a particular hard task.

 

Harry confessed how hard he had fallen for Louis ever since he wa 14 and he knew he was a complete creep since he knew that he was considerably older than him at the time. Harry really didn’t care. Louis then told Harry he had feelings for him since he was 15 but always pushed them aside because it was like being in love with an imaginary friend. They both just liked they could act upon their feelings now.

 

Harry continued to get back memories every now and then. Memories that made him wake up in the early hours of morning and start crying and louis would be right beside him to comfort him. Turns out, Harry was 19 and his birthday was the first of February. He had a mother and stepfather along with an older sister by the name of Gemma. He had friends and he was about to go to UNI when he committed suicide on December 24, 1991, the day Louis was born. They both knew from that moment on that the universe does some messed up shit when things are supposed to happen.  And although Harry sometimes sits and thinks about how he had a life and how he wasted it away, his new life was with Louis now, and goddamn, was he going to make the best of it.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos and Comments are greatly appreciated. You can find me on tumblr at isntlouislovely.tumblr.com


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